


At Yuri's House

by Randstrom



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Conversations, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23135755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randstrom/pseuds/Randstrom
Summary: Walking home after spending the day making preparations for their club's school festival, Natsuki's two friends (MC and Yuri) discovered her not-so-welcoming home situation. Now she's being dragged along to spend the night at Yuri's house, so that her currently intoxicated father won't hurt her for coming in late.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	At Yuri's House

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the same timeline as all my other stories, immediately after 'The Friend They Need,' but if you don't feel like reading through 17 chapters of poorly drawn comics, just know this is a timeline where MC stopped thinking with his dick and tried his best to be a good friend to all the girls.

I look over my shoulder to see MC walking in the opposite direction. He doesn't look like he's feeling so hot right now. He's probably just depleted; he's been around people constantly for the entire weekend, and while he's not as bad as Yuri, he's still pretty shy. 

Speaking of whom, Yuri doesn't say much as she leads the way towards her home. She looks pale, and she's subconsciously spinning her hand back and forth at her side while she stares straight ahead. I decide not to point it out; it would probably only make her more nervous.

The two of them just found out about my dad and what he does to me. We were walking together after preparing some stuff for tomorrow's school festival. They followed me down my street like a couple of creepy creeps, and found me sitting in the ground outside my house, waiting for Papa to pass out so that he wouldn't blow up at me for getting home late. They then proceeded to grill me about it until I spilled everything about him- the hitting, the touching, the withholding of food...

Don't get me wrong— they were nice about it, and supportive and all that. I just don't like being treated like a charity case. Yuri even hatched this whole idea of convincing her parents and my father that I was 'tutoring' her somehow, and having me over for studying and dinner every night after the club. I really hate the idea of relying on someone so much, but my food situation has been pretty bad this month, so it's hard to turn down.

I ended up crying in front of them, and it was  _ humiliating _ . I'm already the youngest and the smallest out of everyone in the club. Now they probably think of me like some child. Yuri decided to take an interesting tactic to appease me, though— I can still hear her stammering voice echoing in my head. ' W-would… ...would it make you f-feel better to know my secret? ...since I know about yours now? ' 

I know she's only doing it for my sake, and that she's  _ really _ afraid to share, and that she's the last person who would ever start gossip about me in the entire school, but I want this collateral anyway. Not even to threaten her with, really— I just want to feel  _ even. _ It's selfish, but hey, at least I admit it. 

I'm 99.999% sure I already know her secret anyway. I've been a little worried about some of her writing and behaviors, so I started asking people about her— why none of the other third-years talk to her, why she gets bullied so much, etcetera. She obviously has some serious anxiety problems, and probably also depression, and from what I was able to piece together, I think she cuts herself and might even be contemplating suicide. 

But I'm going to let her open up to me on her own terms.  _ As long as she tells me tonight like she promised, I won't rush her. _

The streets become less and less populated with buildings as we enter a more wooded area, even further in the outskirts than Papa's house. I'm starting to worry she's taking me to some remote patch of woods to sacrifice me in some occult ritual, when she finally speaks up.

"H-here we are."

Yuri gestures towards a mailbox labeled Kitazawa. At this point in the street, you can't even see any of the houses past the trees. It's a good thirty seconds of walking up the driveway before the building comes into view. Even in the dark I can see how fancy it is. It's a two-story, free-standing house surrounded by a stately yard of perfect rectangular hedges and neatly trimmed grass. I'm low-key jealous. It must be at least as big as the townhouse thing MC lives in, but plucked out of the claustrophobic cluster of neighboring homes.

"Uh… w-welcome…" Yuri says as she unlocks the side door under the carport. It swings open into an impeccably clean kitchen that's everything I could ever dream of. It has  _ two ovens,  _ for Christ's sake. Not to mention it's loaded to the brim with food. My jealousy is starting to become not-so-lowkey. 

I decide to rekindle conversation to distract myself. "So you said your parents are away until tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah. They're s-staying overnight with one of my mother's work associates near the capitol."

"You don't sound too disappointed that they aren't here," I pry. "Do you get along with them okay?"

"They… they… provide for my needs. I have food, shelter, more in the way of money and material comforts than I could ever ask for or deserve… I sh-shouldn't complain."

_ Ooh, this might be juicy. _

"So… I'll take that as a no..."

Yuri sighs as she casts a forlorn glance at the dining table in the adjacent room. 

"I-I… it's not like we  _ 'get along badly,' _ fighting all the time or anything like that," she says. "W-we just… don't 'get along' in any way. They never  _ talk _ to me or try to connect with me as a person, i-i-if that makes sense; it's like a business relationship. All they'll ever s-speak about with me are my school grades and my chores. They're tepid or dismissive of I try to talk about anything else, a-and if I slip up in one of those two areas, they yell at me like an angry boss."

_ No wonder she's so socially inept. No friends at school, no interaction at home... _

"Hmm…" is all I can muster for a response on the spot.

Yuri looks down at her feet and continues, "I… was an unwanted pregnancy. I-I was only born because my grandfather threatened to disown my mother if she aborted me."

_ Jesus. JESUS. This is some pretty heavy shit to tell someone the first time you've hung out outside of school. Though I suppose I'm sitting here patiently waiting for her to admit that she SLICES her fucking SKIN OPEN on the regs. I guess this is just a high stakes friendship? Fuck. _

"Well, I can relate to you on that front, I guess. I think my mom wanted kids, but she's  _ god-knows-where _ now. My dad on the other hand… he started resenting us like crazy after she left. Or maybe he always resented us, but that's when he started letting it show."

"'Us?' I th-thought you lived alone with your father."

_ Shit. Now I'm oversharing too. _

"Well, I do now, but I have an older brother. He left when I was nine. Can't say I really blame him, but… yeah."

Man, It probably seems like I'm trying to one-up her in some kind of shitty family competition. Not my intention, but what can I say? My family is  _ pretty damn shitty. _ I wouldn't be very surprised to find out mom and Sinji are both in jail or  _ dead _ or something.

"Well anyway," I interject before she can respond, "why don't we head up to your room?" The bag I'm carrying, loaded up with baking supplies and school books is  _ really fuckin heavy _ and I can't wait much longer to put it down.

"Oh, o-of course." She leads me up the stairs. The house is dark and eerily empty. I can't help but feel like Papa's going to suddenly appear to break the placid silence with yelling at any moment. I try to shake the feeling as Yuri opens a door and holds it for me.

The first thing I notice in Yuri's room are the two large posters she has hanging in frames. The first one depicts an ominous looking castle adorned with dragon statues, with the text  _ 'A Song of Cold and Flame.' _ I'm pretty sure that's the title of the fantasy book series that they're basing that huge TV show off of. On the adjacent wall, the second poster is much more abstract in design, with blotches of smokey color and shadow, all centering around an eye symbol that I recognize from the cover of the book she's been reading at the club lately. 

Then, I notice that the floor lamp in the corner isn't the only source of light; there's also a good amount coming from some kind of terrarium with a big spiky lizard in it.

"Whoa…"

"Th-this is Cecil," Yuri offers. "He's a type of lizard called a bearded dragon."

She puts her finger on the glass as she looks at the reptile lovingly. "Yes, you're my little handsome man, aren't you?!? Such a majestic beast!" I have to physically cover my mouth with my hands to stifle a laugh. The high squeaky voice she's talking to this lizard with is  _ ridiculous _ , and I don't think she even realizes she's doing it.

"Cecil is a really good listener," she says. "I don't really have any friends to talk to, so…"

It's bizarre how forthcoming she's being with me tonight, considering how shy and reserved she normally is at school. The stuff she's telling me is kind of embarrassing too... I suppose she is prone to impulsive bursts, though, like when she rushed up to recite her poem the other day, and when she ran and bought that book for MC immediately after his first club meeting. Right now I think she's being propelled along by nervous energy, blurting out whatever comes to mind.

_ This girl is a weird one. _

I glance over the rows of neatly arranged knives on her shelf. I remember hearing about this collection at some point, but I can't remember when. Before I can put my finger on it, though, my attention is drawn elsewhere.

"Whoa, you play guitar?!" I ask, inspecting the large, stringed instrument resting on a stand near her desk. It's one of the thin ones with a plug and knobs— no big fat body with a hole in the middle.

"A-actually that's a bass. I wanted to play something that was not as…  _ in the spotlight,  _ I suppose. B-but I say that as if I'm actually in a band or something." She looks down, cheeks flushing. "In reality I don't know if I'll ever be able to m-meet that many other musicians who actually want me around as part of their group…"

_ Damn she's laying on that self-deprecation thick tonight.  _ It's concerning how genuine it feels, though _. _ A lot of the time it's just arrogant people bullshitting to look more humble than they actually are, but this... __

I try to cheer her up. "I'd want you to join if I had a band."

Yuri smiles at me for the first time since we arrived here. "Th-that's a bold move to accept someone into your band when you've never even heard them play. What if I'm no good? I could ruin the reputation your hypothetical group has worked so hard to cultivate."

"Well how about you play for me now, then? So I can see if you're up to snuff?"

She looks away, the confidence from a moment ago all but disappearing. "Maybe later. O-or some other day..."

As I place my bag down in the corner, the textbooks inside remind me of something.

"So you said you have an old uniform for me to use at school tomorrow?"

Even though the cultural festival is tomorrow, we still have to wear our uniforms if our events don't require otherwise. It's pretty lame.

"Mhmm. I was about your height when I was a first-year, and I still have my uniform from back then, so you can use it. Y-you can even keep it if you want."

"Oh… okay."

Yuri digs into the back of her closet and pulls out a futon, along with a large plastic tote bin. "Th-this is full of clothes that don't fit me anymore. We better hang up the uniform now to reduce the wrinkles as much as possible."

She begins rummaging through the bin and produces a blazer that should more or less fit me. A moment later her expression brightens. "Ooh! This was my favorite shirt. It's really s-soft and comfortable. Here, you can use it for pajamas."

She hands me a tee-shirt depicting a unicorn superimposed over a purple, foggy background. It looks like something that would be airbrushed on the side of a van from the 1980s.

I stifle a laugh. "Did you wear this in public when it still fit?"

"Y-yeah... my parents only make me dress formally when we have important company. Why do you ask?" Yuri cocks her head at me with a look of pure, oblivious confusion. 

  
  


_ Oh my god, she's such a dork. It's kind of endearing.  _

"No reason."

Yuri finds me a pair of pajama shorts and the rest of the old uniform, which she promptly shakes out and hangs up in the closet.

"The shower is the next door on the left, and you can find fresh towels in the closet next to it. Umm…" she starts fiddling with her hair as a flush creeps up from her neck. "I've… never lent somebody clothes before. I-is expected for me to offer you… underpants? I-I don't have any that are brand new, b-but I assure you that I thoroughly wash all my laundry…"

Her face has gotten so red that I'm afraid for her health. Why is she so uptight about this kind of stuff? Like, she practically had a heart attack when I said 'I'm going pee' instead of 'I have to use the bathroom' at club the other day...

It is a good question though; I've never quite been in this situation either. My butt still feels damp from when I was sitting on the ground outside my house, and I can't imagine Yuri running around catching any STDs, so I guess it wouldn't hurt…

"Uh… sure, I'll take some, I guess. Can't be half as bad as using a public bath, right?"

I shouldn't be surprised at this point, but she wears nerdy underwear too— The waistband of the plain cotton undergarment almost reaches my belly button when I change into the borrowed clothes after my shower. The persona I had built up in my head, of a wannabe edgy scene kid who lacks the confidence to pull off the style, is completely shattered at this point. 

Yuri's not the kind of knife-collecting, horror-loving poet who's doing it all in an attempt to look cool and edgy and deep. She's a knife-collecting, reptile-loving dork who escapes into fantasy and horror novels the same way I escape into manga. Her poetry and music are ways of processing her emotions, since she doesn't have friends to discuss them with, and her parents don't care to listen. Man, with this sob story, now I basically  _ have _ to become her friend, right?

When I return to the room, I can immediately tell something's off. Yuri seems super frazzled and _ agitated _ , rocking back and forth as she sits up in the futon.

"Hey, what's up Yuri? Are you okay?"

She flinches, startled at my voice.

"N-Natsuki? Y-you take the b-bed okay? You're my g-guest so-"

"Whoa, whoa, what happened? Are you alright?"

Yuri makes eye contact for a split second and immediately pulls away. She stays quiet for several seconds. "I s-said I'd tell you… a-and I got so nervous about it that I... made it w-worse."

_ Shit, she's super anxious right now. This is freaking me out. _ "Hey, uh… it's alright. Take some deep breaths. I promise I won't judge or spread rumors, whatever it is you're gonna tell me."

Her breath slows, just a little, and she pulls her knees up tight against her body. With one foot tapping, she starts to explain, "S-so… I obviously have issues with anxiety and p-p-panic attacks as you can s-see. A-and that has a whole ch-chicken egg relationship w-with… w-well… what I mean is it's b-both a source and a s-symptom of anxiety, but I… s-self...harm. And I c-can't stop doing it."

Yuri's face is pointed at the wall in the complete opposite direction from where I'm sitting. I rest my hand on her arm, hoping it'll convey sympathy or acceptance or  _ something positive _ . "What's it like leading up to it? Like, where's your head at when it happens?"

I feel Yuri's death grip on her legs loosen slightly. "It's like… th-thoughts and images in my head that I c-can't stop. Of blood and cuts and… I try to d-distract myself, but if I slip and l-let my mind wander for a split second it just…" her voice trails off.

"The raccoon won't leave you alone."

Yuri flinches.  _ Did she really think nobody would get that poem? _

"I-it gets a lot worse when I'm anxious… like when my head is spinning or if I'm feeling particularly bad about myself.."

I take a breath and press forward. "Is it related to any kind of… suicidal thoughts?"

"N-no! I-I… well… I…"

I press on, calmly but steadily. "There were some lines in your beach poem that were, uh… a little concerning. Y'know… being  _ tempted _ at the  _ ultimate boundary line _ ,  _ returning to the earth _ …" Yuri shrinks in on herself while I continue. "...And I know… that you deal with a lot of bullying at school and stuff, and you don't really have anyone to talk to about it… I'm just worried about you."

Her breath catches once, then again as her shoulders bounce along. Earlier, some nasty part of me was hoping she would cry when she opened up to me, since she saw me break down outside my house. Like it would make us  _ 'even' _ or something. Seeing this just fucking  _ hurts _ though— it's not satisfying at all. 

It's hard to stay earnest in serious emotional moments like this. My whole being is screaming at me to change the subject with some snarky comment and just leave it here, but I grit my teeth and continue. "I know you don't think very highly of yourself, but I promise that you're not unwanted. I'm… happy to have met you, and to have gotten to know you a little better today. I'm positive Sayori and MC feel the same too."

Yuri takes a breath. "It's n-not fair. I was f-finally ready to just  _ give up, _ and now you're all suddenly being so nice to me out of fucking n-nowhere! It's so confusing."

_ Jesus. So she was seriously considering... _ "Well, we're gonna keep being nice, so you better stick around for it. Okay?'

"But I'm going to graduate before any of you, and then I'll be alone again."

"That won't stop me from being your friend, alright? Even if you move away I'll still… call you and stuff." I crouch down and awkwardly hug her. In this position I notice a vacant spot in the neat row of knives on her shelf. Scanning the floor I see a pocket knife close by, unfolded and crusted with half-dried blood on the sharp edge.

_ So this is what she meant by "made it worse."  _

I let out a sigh of exasperation. "Alright, Yuri, come with me." I drag Yuri to her feet and lead her into the bathroom. "Where did you cut just now? Was it on your arm?"

Yuri nods wordlessly, moving her left arm to tell me it's the injured one. I gasp as I roll up her sleeve to see the damage. There have to be a hundred scars of various ages and sizes on this arm alone. I almost can't believe it. I guess it makes sense if she's been doing this regularly for a couple years, but  _ Jesus _ . Scattered amongst them are a few clusters of healing wounds, and three notable fresh cuts, sticky with freshly dried blood. It appears that the tight long sleeves of her undershirt managed to stop the bleeding for the most part. Now they're just oozing a little from the disturbance of rolling up the sleeve.

_ Alright it's clean first, then disinfect, then bandage. Ah, but if she needs to shower later the bandages will be ruined... _

"Yuri, why don't you hop in the shower? Make sure to soap up those cuts okay? And don't worry, I won't look."

"Okay," she whispers.

I sit cross legged on the floor, facing the door so she can get undressed. I would give her more privacy but I'm afraid she'll hurt herself more if left completely alone. I pass the time going through the cabinet to gather first aid equipment. When she finishes her shower, I hear the curtain open. After she's spent a few moments drying off, I ask, "Am I good to turn around?"

"Mhmm," she replies, almost inaudibly.

With her midsection wrapped in a towel, I can see her other arm and her upper legs, all littered with countless additional scars. There are some relatively fresh wounds on her right arm, all surrounded with pink, puffy skin that must only be a few days old at most. One of these gashes is especially deep looking. "Was this one…" I start to ask.

"Th-that was an accident. I swear! I was… s-startled while… i-indulging and…"

"Alright, I believe you. Well, let me disinfect the new ones. I'll put some antibiotics on that big one over there while I'm at it.." 

She sucks air through her teeth as I pour rubbing alcohol over the wounds. It's hard to believe the teary-eyed girl in front of me is the mature upperclassman I was so jealous of. I definitely feel like the older sister figure here.

"Listen, Yuri, I'm glad you trusted me enough to share this. I promise I won't make you regret it."

Yuri chews on her lip 

"...S-so you'll come back?"

"Of course. You said you'd cook for me, right? I'm not really in a position to turn down a regular meal," I say, half-joking.

A smile breaks upon her face for a moment, but quickly disappears. "I'm… sorry that you're kind of… f-forced to spend time with me. You don't need to feel... obliged to do this if you can get food elsewhere."

"C'mon, you're really gonna make me say it? I  _ want _ to be your friend okay? Sheesh."

Her face flushes as she looks at the bathroom floor. I probably look the same; I can feel the heat in my ears.

"Now put some fucking clothes on, would you?!? Jeez." I huff dramatically for effect, and pause for a moment before changing the subject. "Can we, like, watch a movie or something before we go to bed? I'm too worked up to sleep right now."

"Um… sure, I th-think I can find something…" she replies. "We don't have webflix or anything like that, b-but I have some DVDs, and box sets of TV shows."

"Whatever. But no horror!"

Yuri nods as she disappears to get dressed.

I sigh to myself as the anxious butterflies swarm in my stomach. If things work out, I'll be spending a lot more time here at Yuri's house moving forward. I'll be able to get away from my dad for a bit every day, get a regular meal, and hopefully help this girl fix her miserable self image in the process. I'm running on empty right now, but I certainly can't say tonight has been boring.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to think about the start of Nat and Yuri's friendship after working on Fault for so long. I know I'm probably accidentally introducing contradictions and weakening the story overall by explicitly writing this kind of prequel stuff instead of just leaving it as subtext, but c'mon it's fanfiction. I'm doing this because I like writing it. :P  
> That being said, encouraging or advice-giving comments are always super duper appreciated. Thank you for reading!


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